Fear not, citizens. The Tactile Avenger is here to fight for Truth, Justice and Sensual Delight.
My powers rest in my fuzzy costume. Villains start out punching me, but get distracted and pet me instead. Then I hit them with my feather gun, and they forget all about evil doings.
My powers rest in my fuzzy costume. Villains start out punching me, but get distracted and pet me instead. Then I hit them with my feather gun, and they forget all about evil doings.
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Portland
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Re: Super power roll call!
Mon, October 18, 2004 - 8:47 PMAnd I, Captain Video doth offer forth mine own movie-renting powers in the name of ALL THAT IS RENTABLE!
Fear not feeble denizens of Videotown, for I know the ways both of farce and of horror, the b-movie and sequel. In all the land of Blockbuster, I have NO equal!!! Moo Ha ha ha ha!!!
Superheros Unite! (sometime, ya know, for drinks)!
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Re: Super power roll call!
Tue, October 19, 2004 - 9:36 AMI am Average Man. I'll make you feel good due to my non-threatening nature. I have powers of invisibility. Acutally, it's more like un-noticibility due to my tan and khaki K-Mart outfits and mormon haircut. I possess human-like abilities that make me able to drive a car, watch a movie, and walk my dog. ha ha. challenge me now, will ya?
On second thought, the idea of confrontation makes me nervous. Never mind. -
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Unsu...
Re: Super power roll call!
Tue, October 26, 2004 - 12:44 PMI am Frustro Man. I was born out of Howard Stern's anus. I rarely like myself, and most people hate me. I masturbate three to five times per quarter-day. Yes, that's twelve to twenty times total. I have the most tiny penis in Canada. I never call people back or return emails. I say I will do things but never do them, on purpose. Sometimes when people knock on my door I just sit there, quietly. At parties I can be found by myself. If you engage me in a conversation I will ask if it is "OK" to fuck your girlfriend. If you say yes I will get her naked but will be unable to get a hard-on, out of fear for catching the disease you gave her. If you say no I will take out my wallet. If you attempt to hit me I will bite a chunk out of your arm and spit it in your face, even if you kick my ass, so I hope you don't like your arm very much.
FRUSTRO MAN TO THE RESCUE! -
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Re: Super power roll call!
Mon, February 20, 2006 - 10:42 PMDo not fear! Bad-Hair-Day-Man is here!
I don't know if it's the humidity or what, but I look like a cross between Howdy Doody, Beethoven, and Captain Kangaroo. One look at the bizarre shape of my head and villains just giggle until they forget their evil plans.
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Re: Super power roll call!
Sun, March 18, 2007 - 7:40 PMI am Hiss. I speak in a hissing whisper and have a forked tounge as a serpent. I can cling to any surface and am physically able to crawl long distances upside down, sideways, anything. At will I can call upon chameleon and fade into the scenery. Understander of religious fanatics and dealer of weaponry not of earth, I try to keep my skin on. Hunted by anti-mutants, Hiss makes roll call anyway for the next adventure hoping he can keep up.
